North Pole – Dec 23, 2021
Santa’s 2021 Christmas preparations soared to success in a fruitful partnership with Alsco Uniforms, who as of last year became the official uniform supplier of Santa’s Workshop. New workshop uniforms checked off the entire list of needs, with a variety of cheerful colors, tough but flexible MIMIX fabrics, pockets in all the right places, and all the delightfully jingling bells and whistles an industrious elf could wish for. Workshop cheer rose 20% over 2020 numbers, and productivity increased a full 25% overall, wildly exceeding even the merriest estimates. Most importantly, Santa’s elves never have missing uniforms due to Alsco’s Positek RFID uniform tracking system.
Donner, a spokesdeer for the Reindeer Coalition of North Pole Fliers, reports the new set of reins an unexpectedly exceptional improvement. “Alsco’s wide variety of rein options has given us the flexibility to match reins to current weather conditions in various parts of Santa’s annual route,” he said in an interview last week. “Our fliers get better maneuverability in the deep cold of Utah with the self-warming add-on. It really keeps the icicles from forming, which can be a real nuisance when landing on tricky roofs. But we get more responsiveness in the Tropics with moisture-wicking reins that salt can’t corrode.”
Even the big man himself is Ho-Ho-Ho-ing about his Alsco uniform upgrade. “I haven’t felt this jolly since the storm of ’42,” he exclaimed in his annual pre-flight report. “This new suit is fluffy and plump as a proper sugar plum, and I love the built-in belly support that makes this jelly look terrific! Ho-ho-ha! Merry Christmas to me!”
It hasn’t been all mirth and merriment though, and the partnership has exposed opportunities for further improvement. In September we had a minor candy-cane mishap in the workshop when a sweet treat shattered on the cane bender leaving a small splinter in Waffle’s eye. Fortunately, it quickly melted, but the incident inspired us to contact Alsco for a first aid upgrade. We’ve already got a comprehensive first aid station, kept up to code and well-stocked by our Alsco representative. This spring we’re adding an eyewash station and an AED device all on one giant First Aid Safety Board, to ensure Santa’s team always knows where to go in the event of an emergency. When you have millions of children depending on you, Christmas can’t wait for a visit to the ER.
“All in all, 2021 has been a gleeful success, and everyone at the North Pole is more excited than ever to share their Christmas cheer throughout the world,” said Donner, in a joint statement with Alsco Uniforms. “From all the elves, and all of Alsco, Merry Christmas and a hap-hap-happy New Year!”